Review: What The F*$! Really "Happened" Here Son?

Let's think about this for a second.

Besides the fact that Mark Wahlberg must have had a clause in his contract that every 10 shots must be a close-up of his face doing this... (Please see ridiculous picture of his classic face to your left) I eventually found myself tittering like a damn ninny over the fact that the movie reaches a point where he's afraid to go outside, and cries, because... the grass, trees and bushes might kill him.


We all know how much I think The Sixth Sense, Signs, and The Village are terrific movies. We all know that I proved that M. Night is intuitive and somewhat ingenious and that he really can put a fantastical film together and assemble something grand before the screen. But to be quite honest, he also is very hit or miss, you either agree with it, and embrace his shit, or you look at his stuff with frank eyes and tear it apart.

Well, he missed with this one son. Not only, did he miss the pitch of box office/critical acclaim comeback from '06's Lady In The Water with this movie, but he came full circle and knocked himself out with the bat, woke up in the hospital and said, "What, wha... happened?" Then the fiery studio executive standing over him screamed, "YOU FUCKIN' MISSED M. NIGHT! YOU FUCKIN' MISSED!!!" (I laughed really hard when I thought that up btw) Why, do studio's keep thinking it's a great idea to greenlight his shit? When they see him coming in, don't they say, "Oh fuck, get out! Out! 'Twist' yo ass right out my muthafuckin' door M.!"

Let me be clear though, sometimes, it might look as though, he's a B-movie director with A-list talent, crews and equipment (and fuckin' money), but he's not. He comes up with silly-ass, little boy ideas, but that doesn't mean that his movies don't have something to offer. He was obviously trying to prove a whole lot of something after the debacle that was Lady In The Water. And he had some steam going for him with the whole, "First Time He's Making An R Rated Movie" thing. I read up on the aftermath of this thing, before I illegally downloaded it through bit torrents and watched it just now. He got a few pats on the back, and the general consensus was, "Eh, it's an improvement." Hell, some even liked it.

He knows how to manipulate the emotions of the audience, and with the help of long time score collaborator, James Newton Howard (the great), it goes over tremendously well. Sometimes, he goes overboard, sometimes, he pushes too hard on various things, sometimes, he puts HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, MONSTROSITIES OF PERFORMERS in some scenes. Mostly the extras who have only a few lines but still seem to make you wanna beat your fuckin' head with his DVD copy of the film.

I thought this movie had a few "back-pattable" parts, but it was no Signs/Six Sense kind of situation. I mean, he even learned and dropped he twit ending. Which didn't hurt his films, they made them more fun, but it was the twists themselves that got people eventually peeved. At the end of the day, it mos def got a well deserved Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor, and Worst Director Award Razzie Nominations. (Razzies are given to the WORST in film for that year).

Anyway, just thought you'd like to know how I felt about this movie. Last Airbender Looks tight though. He'll get it with that shit, he was in love with the show and watches it with his kids. See my preview of it here.