A Review: The Twilight Saga: Eclispe

I'll start with this: David Slade better thank his lucky fuckin' stars for being able to make this, after his comments about how he'd rather take a bullet then see a screening of the original Twilight.  

Why Summit decided he was still a fine choice is beyond me. I'm sure they saw the obvious badassness of 30 Days of Night and figured, "Why the hell not, it was still a freaky fuckin' vamp movie. Was it not?" It was. Too bad Summit didn't let him inject that dreadful fear and grim atmosphere into this franchise's current installment.

But Wait! There's more!

A Review: The Runaways

No beginning credits. Only a single drop a blood on cement, cueing up "Roxy Roller" by Sweeny Todd in the background.

This drop of blood... is Cherie Currie's evidence of her inaugural period.

Today she is a now woman and rushes into the local fast food joint to clean up and switch panties with her sister.

The film opens with an unabashed, impudent attitude; this train of thought remains until the end. Just like the band itself.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Nice choice Floria.

A Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Yeah... That's Right)

Oh, my, oh, my... The Twilight Saga. What a tangled web we weave Stephenie. Yeah, whatev. The DVD is out, I saw the first one in theaters last November and now this one is floppin' around. I am an amateur film analyst right? Plus, these movies, like or not, are a big part of the American Zeitgeist right now. I owe it to myself to review things, all things, when I find the time. As long as it's on film (even though I have a feeling they skipped on 35mm film stock and used bubblegum straight outa the pockets of 12 year girls) it's open to be reviewed. 

So let's get started shall we?