A Review: Tekken

When I was ten years old, Tekken 3 was released onto the original Playstation gaming system in 1998. I fell in love right there and paired with Gan Turismo I had no other reason to live than to play those games. I've been a Tekken series fan ever since.

So it goes without saying that when I found out about this getting made I was excited to say the least. Then I asked myself not as a game enthusiast, but as a student of film, "Why isn't this making it's way around the headlines of the usual trades online with film news?"

It hit me when I found out about the director, the producer, writer, and then actor's. Fuck, this is a low-budget B movie. Great.

But wait! There's more!

She's No Different Then Optimus Prime

Is one single chill sesh--and we didn't even apply the word date--with this chick really that much to ask?

Judging from the track record, it apparently hasn't changed as the mysterious answer still eludes me years later. 

And at that--is getting back to someone, even more excruciating, rather then practically blowing them off?

A single text would make me happy.

If Me + You = Around 30 minutes or so of chill time is too much to ask then don't act so happy to see me. Going out of your way to flag me down on the street (more than once), and make yourself seem so open, so down to chill. Giving me smiles, subtle touching, laughing and giggling at all my stuff, practically dripping with a need to have me all to yourself. I know what I'm feelin' when your around. You're more flirty between the two of us then I ever attempt to be.

Goddammit. Seriously... A cup a coffee, or some Chinese food together, isn't all that bad (and practically your idea)... Or at least, she makes it seem like it's all such a good idea. That is, until, she feels it isn't anymore.

Who-the-fuck-really-knows syndrome sets in, yet again... It prompts a memory of the man with black eyes saying to himself: 

      "All the familiar places..."

 But I'll say this too. Michael Bay needs to scoop her up quick. (He's filming TF3 right now actually) 'Cuz it's more then meets the eye with her. Like a lonely yellow old Camero... it's not. You're getting something different then what she presents you. And before you know it, it's fighting another super-car/alien robot.

And YOU! You Foster City Slut! If you're readin' this... Well... it means you're fuckin' pathetic. (Which makes the pity I have for you swell to an unimaginable size)

Get a life. You can't have mine anymore. 

Munki out.

A Review: Killers

Considering this director, I'm not really surprised by what I just saw. Robert Luketic is the directorial equivalent to drinking a glass of water spiked with Visine. 

When you hear that Ashton Kutcher is staring in a film, where he plays a unnamed agency, uh... agent, who marries Heigl, who doesn't know he is one, and then goes on some sloppy adventure with him, becoming his suedo-side-kick in the process... What do you think? Good action-comedy, bad action-comedy? Shit? Terrific? Drivel? Yes ma'am? 

I'm not here to say, but I do get paid (wishful thinking) to state my own opinion of what I think and feel after viewing a film, or movie. In this case, I do not believe I saw either, but a disaster akin to a motorcycle smashing into a car, or even, that kid who got blasted in the face by the unknowing break dancer. Yeah... That's how I feel. This film is like a swift kick to the chin. Only the kick keeps kicking you again and again, for 100 fucking minutes. 

And then it's over. 

But wait! There's more!

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Offered Female Lead In TF3

That's right kids! Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has been offered the new love interest in Loud Noises 3: A Michael Bay Film. If you've been following the blog, or the story, you'll remember about the little piece I wrote concerning the initial news outbreak, Fox was no longer in the franchise. 

But wait! There's more!

Meg Fox Reps Say She Quit Over Bay's 'Abuse'

Yesterday, Fox's reps released a statement saying she left, and wished all the best to the franchise. A few people weren't buying that, and cited it as poorly executed damage control. But today, new reports are saying, that may really be the case.

Via The Wrap, the newer details are as follows:

"Megan Fox walked away from “Transformers 3″ because director Michael Bay was “verbally abusive” toward her and “she had enough and decided to get out early,” an individual close to the actress has told The Wrap.
Given that the [original] story broke Wednesday on Deadline, it’s highly plausible that Paramount studio chairman Brad Grey’s well-known relationship with editor-in-chief Nikki Finke played a part in how the story was initially spun.
The studio stood by that position on Thursday with the statement: “Paramount had the unilateral right to exercise an option for Megan Fox to appear in ‘Transformers 3.’ Paramount at its sole election allowed the option to lapse.”
While Deal Central was skeptical at first that Fox would walk away from such a lucrative role, persistent whispers around Hollywood indicated that there was another side of the story. Bay has a history of demeaning his leading ladies, including “Pearl Harbor” star Kate Beckinsale; an individual close to the actress recalled that the director “wasn’t very nice” to her on the set, either.
Another individual close to the sequel’s production told TheWrap that Bay “wants his actresses to look a certain way, and if they can’t meet his absurd standards of beauty, he gets rid of them.” "

(High pitchWiz Khalifa style) Okaaaayyy.... I can dig that, like I said, I've quit over an XL Douche' director's abuse and head games before. 

Well, at the end of the day, she won't be appearing in the next installment of...

Loud Noises And Quickly Moving Objects 3: A Michael Bay Film.  

Munki Out.

Megan Fox Booted Out Of Transformers 3!/A Megan Fox Analysis

Oh word... What a way to start the day off.
News time baby.

(In short) Talking shit about your director isn't always the smartest thing to do... When you do it to major international media sources.

This kinda story is very bittersweet to wake up to.

• Bitter, because I've got a few things for Fox, not just as a sex symbol either. She has a lot of potential, but maybe I'm the only guy in universe who thinks that.
• Sweet because, hell, this is big fuckin' news you tree-readin' suckas!

But Wait! There's more!

SONOFABITCH! MGM Brankrupcy Stalls Bond 23

Deadline  is reporting that MGM's financial guru's at the studio still haven't found a way, to bring themselves out of the cash catastrophe they've been in since... fuck man, I'm not even sure. They haven't been mainstream since '02. They managed to grab a debt of 3.7 billion and put themselves up for sale in November.  With all kinds of offers on the table from various entertainment forums and expensive buildings housing greedy/helpful people, they still haven't exactly found the right road for them. Ridley and Tony Scott stated they were interested in taking over the studio in a Cruise/Wagner kind of way. A 1.5 billi offer from behemoth Time Warner seemed low ball and offensive, considering the kind of money they have in their pockets. You'd think after a few years, it'd hire 3 top consultants (if they haven't already) and make the best move it can with a bail out so it doesn't die. 

The reason this news matters to me, is because Sam Mendes and Rachel Weisz are attached to the next Bond film, that is a BIG deal to me! A BIG DEAL!!!!!! And now, because MGM can't afford another film,Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson of EON Productions (producers on the last 9 films and any future films) have pulled EON out of business with MGM. In their statement they said the following:

"Due to the continuing uncertainty surrounding the future of MGM and the failure to close a sale of the studio, we have suspended development on BOND 23 indefinitely. We do not know when development will resume and do not have a date for the release of BOND 23"

Great. EON has produced all of the 22 films in the series, and the some of the most fruitful and successful one being under the scrutiny of Broccoli and Wilson, with Goldeneye, Casino Royale and Quantum to name a few. So WTF happens now? IDK, but I don't like this, I was easily placing this film as my reason to live to 2011/2012, but now? Might as well, take the life out of my veins... Weisz, Craig and Mendes on a Bond film was already painted in my head as my favorite Bond.

Well... here's hoping the newly recruited "attached" talent doesn't dipset. I'll be keeping my Munki eyes on this story as closely as if it were a banana milkshake with coconut Parrot Bay mixed in. I'll let you suckas and fellow tree readers know what's good when I know.

A very sad and distraught Munki out.

Why there's 10 of 'em now (Probably)

There's ten of these things in one category now?
Damn son.

HMMM.... I WONDER WHY? I SAY ALOUD IN FRONT OF TOM SHERAK (President of the AMPAS) AND THE REST WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. Is it because Wall-E and The Dark Knight got a bukkake of shit worse than the worst German porn? I believe it is. Usually when films get snubbed out for best pic, the Academy doesn't get the kind of backlash it got that January. They practically got out there rain coats and umbrellas and tried looking for George Clooney in wake of how big that shit storm was boy-o.

Why have they all of a sudden, after sixty five years of doing it five's company, are they now going with the ten's a crowd decision? Probably because last years awards was the ALL TIME low for the ceremony and they need to do something before the Nielsen people step in and slap them up. But it does beg the first question: Are there really ten films out there even worthy of it? No. Maybe there are ten, sometimes there's more (but those don't get the marketing and promotion they deserve 'cuz studios can be XL bags of douche). I'll agree with ten real good ones, but after the nitpicking's done with, you just get back down to five, seven maybe.

I mean, doesn't it kind of sound like, "We're going with the top five best candidates for this position. Uh... Well... that is unless a whole bunch of people around the country get super pissed about two other dudes and/or chicks who should have also been in the running. And then we'll just open it up to hell, why not five more people who now will get blown up ego's and undeserving recognition while others get smudged out for the press of the whole debacle! Yeah!"

We'll have to wait and see how this turns out. I've seen four out of ten, and have the other six in pipe ready for me to watch and review the shit out of. So stayed tuned for more. Then I'll get back on the track of which of the ten does and does not deserve arguably the most coveted spot in film for the past eighty three years.

This guy's got the idea. I follow his stuff every now and then, he knows what's up. http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2666&p=.htm