Sunday, February 28, 2010

Scenes That Are Dope: Blade In The Blood Club

This is by far, one of the freshest, most interesting, get's you hooked and reeled in, atmospheric and mood establishing, pulse pounding openers for a film, ever. Mos def.

Favorite kill: Punch to the face, steak to the heart, kick to the head sent into the glass and finally electrocuted by the lightbulb.

And watch for the guy getting the BJ. Who's the other dude sitting next to him watching?! What's he doing?!

Here's the Blood Club opener for '98's Blade.

All hail Wesley.
The song is a remix by the 80's/90's/2000 post punk/alternative dance group New Order. Comprised of members of the great band Joy Division. They put out the song "Confusion " in 83 and it firmly established them on the scene of dance. The remix can also be found as, Blood Rave, or New Order Confusion Blade Remix.

And yes, that chick driving was Tracy lords, the porn star.

Munki out.

A Review: What Goes Up, Must Come Down, But Not This Film


In recent years, there isn't many directors who can say their movies went 3/3 out of the gate. Now, Jason Reitman (son of Ivan Reitman) didn't grab any Academy nod's for 2006's Thank You For Smoking, but that doesn't mean that he didn't grab the attention of everyone or it wasn't a great film. Then he hit it big with Juno in '07 with a best director nod. And now he's done it again with Up In The Air and pulled of well deserved Best Pic, Director and Adapted Screenplay nod's. 

Rietman is quickly establishing himself as the go-to for mainstream dramedys that don't suck. And for films that will stick with us, and always leave a lasting impression. Here is my review on a film that actually deserves it's Best Pic nod.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Review: This Is One Seriously Grim Road, And It's Terrific


"And whoever made humanity, will find no humanity here. No sir. No sir. So beware... Beware..." 


The Road, based off the 2007 Pulitzer Prize winner for fiction and starring Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee and a supporting role by Charlize Theron--has no atmosphere. Has no mood. Has no sunlight. Has no animals and barely any insects. No electricity. Has no food or vegetables. Has no feelings, or remorse. Only the death of the land that is now gone, and the life that was once on it. It doesn't sugar-coat, or try to sell a million tickets to make it's investor's happy. It doesn't have a gaudy trailer that invites you to come and witness something for college kids or tween audiences who want a thrilling story. It does the book some good, and turns itself into the the little engine that could. It achieves the feat in itself of translating a Cormac McCarthy novel to the screen. And then wins double the points when it does it right.

Monday, February 22, 2010

A Review: From Blog To Blister, I Mean Uh, Blockbuster (Actually It Wasn't A Blockbuster, I Just Typed That Cuz It Rhymed)

Julie & Julia opens in France, 1949 as a car is being lowered from of a ship into the country. We watch as the blue (Ford?) travels down the tree-lined countryside road on it's way to Paris. And then we hear them, the first words Julia Childs bellows out in a painstaking attempt to learn the beautiful French language. We knew that this is Meryl doing what she does best: the real thing, no cheap imitations, only transcendentals of self to character.

Friday, February 19, 2010

A Review: Scorsese + Dicaprio + Mental Institution = Holy Shit Almighty

Well, let's not be too hasty hear, we do have of course, the wonderful, the skilled, the one and only, Dennis Lehane. The #1 New York Times best selling author of Mystic River. Also the pen of Gone Baby Gone. Both which were made into Academy Awarding nominated and winning films. So needless to say, the guy is a reliable source of adaptation.

With my jacket, scarf and boots secured tight, I walked from the parking lot to the theaters doors while my hair blew in the breeze of the night. In the breeze of the forty-four degree weather (warmer as of late).I was comprised with a strict anticipation and excitement of what I as about to see last night at the 12:01 showtime. And I'll tell you why. Marty Scorsese is one of the VERY FEW guarantees out of the whole (tinsel) town. As far as directors go, I'd be hard pressed to find someone with as good and pristine a track record as Big Marty boy-o. I mean, when I hear Scorsese, I hear "Cinematic Maestro" in my head. And this film is a perfectly exemplifies why...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

MERKED!

Although this is officially the first post that made my skin craw down my back, please watch as these silly little Humming Birds have no clue the power that a Praying Mantis holds in itself.

I can't help but picture the birds flying around it saying, "Can't get me nigga! Can get me! Green ass ugly bitch-ass... Ah Shit!"

Just watch sucka.



Merked through the chest! Feathers go everywhere! And he used his primary means.


Let's give it up to Environmental Graffiti for providing us with the coolest in the planetary news, pics, vids, and everything in between.

Munki Out.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

1 More Added 2 That Movie About Gettin' Mad Sick Yo!

Gwenyth Pal is the latest to step into Steven Soderbergh's globe spanning setting about a virus that breaks out and unites characters across the globe titled, Contagion.

And now it looks like they have not only rounded out they're cast but tipped the ratio and got it to 3:2 on girls and guys. Not that makes a great movie, but these dames can act, as well as look good. So that makes it all the better.


I previously reported the announcement made last week as well as origin details with script as well. The film's cast is coming to you with Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Marion Cotillard cast in the new film, with Soderbergh to direct from a script by Scott Z. Burns (The Informant!). While not much was known about the story, the film was said to center on a worldwide virus outbreak that connects several different characters together.

Still stoked and ready to bring you all the updates I can on this hot shit son!

Give it up to Movieweb for providing you with all the inter-web content you need in the world of Cinema.

A Review: 69 Year's Old = You Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks (But You Can Epically Fail Trying)

Five times out of ten, I'll start a post by listing off the names of a new or current film project. Usually meaning that just by the names and director/writer(s) alone, they can't miss (much). Which is why I'm about to do it again. But honestly, that only get's you so far. In almost more than half the cases, an All-star cast and crew doesn't always mean you're getting something as good one would first surmise.

Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from The Matrix series) Emily Blunt (Red Head Brit from Devil Wears Prada) Benicio del Toro and the great and powerful Anthony Hopkins. All lead by Joe Johnston (Jurassic Park III). With a cast like that how can you loose?! Certainly 3/4's of them thought the new take on timeless character was extremely awesome?! And that the script was worth it? And even that Johnston would pull it together? Well, that was the intentions of the film in the beginning @ least...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Hiho Silver! Awaaaaay!!

Clooney = The Lone Ranger
Depp = Tonto

Yes, Disney is getting the ball rolling with yet another monstrous, gawdy Jerry Bruckheimer project, The Lone Ranger.

The Lone Ranger's origin story begins with a group of Texas Rangers chasing down a gang of outlaws led by Butch Cavendish. The gang ambushes the Rangers, seemingly killing them all. One survivor is found, however, by an American Indian named Tonto, who nurses him back to health. The Ranger, donning a mask and riding a white stallion named Silver, teams up with Tonto to bring the unscrupulous gang and others of that ilk to justice.

Depp has been attached to the project for some time now. Sitting patently, waiting to drop another couple of mili's into the bank to be a Native American side kick. But it looks like Clooney was deal closer that got the announcement to be made and things official. Clooney, is certainly a throw back to he Golden Age of film and will be ideally placed in this film.

The Lone Ranger, owned by Classic Media, began life as a 1930's radio show. it's popularity led to movie serials, TV shows, comics strips and books, toys, novels, and more.

We shall see what comes of this. No production date has been announced, no director, no script is in place yet (although I'm sure they have something to go off of). I heard they wanted this another tentpole for a few summer's most likely leading to a trilogy, and granted Clooney can stay in shape and keep his facial skin tight enough for it.

Now listen to this dude blast out the classic phrase.

Now you see 'em, now you laugh.

Now I've got 2 of these treasure video beaut's coming your way. One is the infamous ninja auditions and he next is from a martial arts academy specializing in Taekwondo, Muy Tai, Judo, Kempo, Karate and just being a bad ass.

Let's compare the two sets of aspiring hero's shall we?

First up, Epic Ninja Fails.


Now, the soup-de-jour


Give it up to The Chive for providing the sweet motivational poster (I laughed hard as fuck at when I first saw) at the top. The world's largest and most hilarious photo blog.

Awesome Animated Gifts

Well, I'm back after a rough weekend full of, loud music, girls, girls, girls, (none of them were my friends of course I just saw lots of them dancing, some with no clothes on) crazy lights, expensive clothing, and plenty of money dropped. Fuck, that part hurt the most.

Anyway, I'm here with the weekly animated gifts video, check this one out.

And watch for Explosive Charizard and the Bungie chick.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

John Mayer Makes Good Music, But Makes A Better Interview-ee


John Mayer.
Girls Love him, guys listen to his music and don't tell anyone, and they get jealous cuz he's pulled girls we can only dream of. Just to name a few:
Jenifer Aniston
Jessica Simpson
Jenifer Love Hewitt
Wait, all J's?

Anyway.
 Recently he was interviewed by Playboy magazine and though it hasn't hit the stands yet, you can get the whole thing online. But I'll give you a sneak peak after the jump.

Colbert = Everytime Funny
















Steve did it again this time. On his show he recently had a few things to say about Sara Palin making headlines lately. It's very obvious that Colbert has problems with her, and all the more power to him for speaking his mind out. He has the greatest forum in the world to do so: a nationally publicized TV show that EVERYONE watches.

Just watch him earn his Emmy awards.


The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sarah Palin Uses a Hand-O-Prompter
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorSkate Expectations

Review: What The F*$! Really "Happened" Here Son?

Let's think about this for a second.

Besides the fact that Mark Wahlberg must have had a clause in his contract that every 10 shots must be a close-up of his face doing this... (Please see ridiculous picture of his classic face to your left) I eventually found myself tittering like a damn ninny over the fact that the movie reaches a point where he's afraid to go outside, and cries, because... the grass, trees and bushes might kill him.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Arr! Me Maties! I Spot Me A Hottie!


First, let's just give it up to Penelope, for being such truly beautiful woman.

Second, let's give it up for her being as good an actress as she is gorgeous. 

Third let's give it up for her ditching her recent link to Lars von Trier's in-the-works film, Melancholia. Oh there was a reason. She's booking Pirates 4 bitches.

Yay For Candid Photos

There's more where this came from...

Give It Up For This Dog

I'd embed this, but it was disabled by the Youtube account holder for whatever silly ass reason.
So here's a link of something goofy.

Cop Outs



Let's give it up to Oddee.com for givin' us such great shit son. But please, go ahead, do yourself a favor and check out this link to The Dumbest Cops Ever.

Hoo-rah For American Marketing

Yeah, there's more where this came from. Hit THIS LINK  muthaluva and check it out son.

Epic Fails, Who Doesn't Love 'Em?

















                    
You scream.
I scream.
We all scream for... EPIC FAILS!!!
The chive is a great website, probably one of the best, for simply hilarious pictures. Visit often, and every now and then, I'll post something worth while, like this shit.
Hit THIS LINK and check out the rest. 

This Vid Speaks For Itself


Part of the Amazing Animated Gifts Series. 
I might turn one in every week now, come to think of it. 
Anyway, Bassnectar is a raw DJ. I follow him, you should too.  
Now watch for the huge guy unload that clip from the automatic and the kid flip the chair and sit in it.
And that rabbit isn't bad either. Trix bitch.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Mission Impossible 4 In The Works. JJ Not Directing.

That's right kiddies, Abrams was asked by Cruise sometime last year to come back as a producer as well as Cruise, who has produced all of them. They then both started kicking around some good ideas about how the next one could work. Apparently, it's some crazy shit that no one would think of. And it look like the script is in the works now, as JJ asked Alias scribes Josh Applebaum and Andre Nemec to pen the drafts based on "a really cool idea" from Cruise and Abrams themselves. Abrams wrote a treatment himself they're using as a blue print, which he joked, "is probably longer than the script."

Looks like Pararmount is still in the Cruise movies business. Back in '06, they fired him after a 14-year relationship. The eighty-six year old, Sumner Redstone, Viacom's head and parent company to Paramount, cited the reason as to economic damage to Cruise's value as an actor and producer from his controversial public behavior and views.Remember that South Park episode about Scientology and Cruise getting all hot and bothered? See Here. Well, guess they changed their minds after it all blew over a few years later and they saw he can still fill seats in a theater.

The best part about this franchise is that Cruise has the power to keep bringing in new directors to keep it fresh and new and exciting. That always will be a smart move, unless the previous helmer is really that much in love with it. Then why not keep him if he did a good enough job the first time? Let him pour some heart and soul into your stuff. Guess that's why JJ is still on as a powerful voice in how things get done with #4.

Looks like this thing is starting to shape up. I'll keep you posted on things concerning it.
Munki Out.

I May Be 14, But I'll Woop Up On That Ass Sucka

Looks like the cast of Hanna has finally been rounded out. Joe Wright, (Atonement Pride & Prejudice) will be directing the new feature with  all-stars: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett. Sounds sick already. But since the film got the set up at Focus Features back in '07, even with all it's attention, it's been getting the pass-around from various helmers in town. First word was Danny Boyle (Slumdg Millionaire) was testing the temperature, then Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men) was giving it a prospective look. But it looks like things are settled and underway.

Cover Your Mouth When You Sneeze Fool!

When you hear, Matt Damon,  Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, and Kate Winslet are all being directed by Steven Soderbergh, do you even give shit what the damn movie is about? I don't either! But knowing makes it all the better... 

New Intel On That Blue Tights Guy














Damn son, this is one of the more smarter moves a studio has come up with in a hot minute.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Feign Surprise, Bat 3 Is In Writing Pre-Producion


It seems Deadline Hollywood broke the story recently of the newest news to hit the stands about another Batman sequel. To highlight the very quick tid-bit, "[David Goyer] is now writing the third Batman installment with Chris Nolan's brother Jonah."
  

A Review: This Villiage Is An Underated, Misunderstod Place To Live

Yesterday a friend of mine told me how disappointing he thought that The Village was and how bad it was and blah blah blah, he pissed all over this thing. But I myself had only watched it the one time I dragged my mother to see it when it came out in theaters. So I decided to see how I felt after a few more years, a few more hairs on my face, and some more acquired knowledge of film. I just finished watching an copy and these are my sentiments of said film.

I was four years old when my mother bought me my first video tape and I saw the my first live action film (not counting Godzilla movies of course). Needless for me to say, that film was what did for me. You could have stuck a fork in me right then and there. And ever since, I've been following and pouring my heart, soul, and brain into film. So I say to you, with eighteen years of film scrutinizing, The Village is an extraordinary piece of film making and a true experience. All you need to obtain this outlook I have captured is to sit back, open your mind, and un guard your heart.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Let's Try This


Disclaimer: Please note to thyself, I do not consider yours which is truly, a poet by any means on any plain of any space and/or time.

So with that being said, this person won't know it (because they don't follow my blog or even know it exists), but I'm sued-o mocking them. Plus, the description of something I was telling my extremely funny and good friend last night, gave him inspiration to unintentionally provide me with a good jumping off point. So I'll take the first line he gave me and go from there. . .

A Review: The Dark Is Not So Edgy For Some Afterall

Mel Gibson hasn't stood in front of a camera (not counting THE go-to mug shot of 2006) since 02's Signs and We Were Soldiers. And those were both terrific films. Signs was the better of the two, Mel's finest performance in my opinion, (which I consider close to fact) and the reason that M. Night is as good as he should be. But I'm not talking about M. Night or the fact that studios keep greenlighting his movies for whatever incomprehensible reasoning. I'll get to him next time about his upcoming and (hopefully return to form adding something new as well) film, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

The Edge of Darkness is based off the British TV show of the 80's and directed by the awesome Martin Campbell. Who also lensed the TV show as well. The man responsible for saving the Bond franchise not once, but twice (Goldeneye and Casino Royale, hold the cheese). Although my friend I'm slowly grooming as a film-buff disagrees with me, this film has got a lot to offer someone. But it isn't what you think you're going to get out of it once you've seen the trailer. Take a look.




They make it look pretty slam-bang-'em-up don't they? And do a good job as well. But I got more out of this then most didn't. Like No Country For Old Men, the film is hidden with all sorts of gems for the movie watcher with... patience! Doing it right, you can slow a movie down to get out all the nasty details. Make the juicy properly drawn out scenes and conversations elevate the film to more than just a mindless actioner make all the difference (Mr. Bay, are we listening?). And that's what the movie's about, the parts that do boost your adrenaline are sweeter to taste because of the suspense we get from his tortured journey to the truth. And here in comes, dah dah dah, the talented and (hopefully not) underrated Ray Winstone. Who makes the film so much better just by dropping his lovely accent in for a visit every now and then.
Seeing the two of them go back and forth make it all worth while in the end. Even if ol' Bobby De Niro was supposed to be in Ray's shoes and left over "creative differences". Woulda been sweet to see that film. But maybe it wouldn't have been the same kind of thing. Winstone was ideally placed and rightfully so I might add. I have no problem with this film and recommend it to anyone out there looking to get back into the driver's seat with Gibson.

I'll leave you with a smile hopefully. I mentioned M. Night, Michael Bay, and Gibson of course. So let's see them in cartoon form shall we?



Munki Out.

Dear John, You Took Down Avatar


I'd love to review this movie, but I haven't seen it yet. So, in that respect, I won't be making claims about how good or bad the actual movie itself is, because it would be unfair, and make me look like a giant bag (of douche!). So I'll start out with the fact that Avatar's seven week run as the number one box office smash and highest grossing film in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD... is over. (Worldwide box office as of Feb. 7th: $2,204,693,000)

Tippin' my hat to ya Nic (I'm not really wearing one).

Sony scored big this (super bowl) weekend with Dear John's debut, nabbing and est. $32.4 million over 20th Century Fox's $23.6 million with Avatar. I'm sure James Cameron is crying somewhere in a corner. Crying from laughing, that is. He now has the top two highest grossing pics worldwide and domestically, EVER. Avatar then Titanic.

But I digress. Dear John, based off the novel by writer Nicholas Sparks. The guy who made it okay to laugh at the chicks you were watching cry at a movie about a dude who reminds his wife who the hell she is every morning. And why he keeps trying to lay fat wet old kisses on her, (which is also the movie that got Gosling and McAdams romantically entwined in the first place).

Nic Sparks, every, every book, he writes was or will be a movie. Should we applaud him for getting double the money and vessels to tell his stories or should we call him a sell out for getting into bed with the film making business? Sell out? Isn't the (arguable) point of being a
writer to get as famous and successful as you can? And if you define your successes by writing strictly book-to-movie then more power to you. Even if his stuff is better on the page then a 35 mm transfer though....

Sorry, but I've seen what Channing Tatum can do (or can't more precisely). And he can't act his way out a paper bag. But the trailer makes you think otherwise very easily (to the untrained eye of course). Take a look.



Amanda Seyfried, is going places and her resume is boasting a nice looking future with the upcoming film Chole. Hell, to go one on one with Julianne Moore and Liam Neeson is enough to boast to me about. She's got a lot more to offer than the hulky bulky Tatum does any more than a cow does besides the milk and a steak and tipping the damn thing over at night when your drunk in a small boring Texas town (don't ask). But I haven't heard many good things about this film. And you'd expect more out the director who brought you such wonderful films like, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, The Cider House Rules, Chocolate, even An Unfinished Life was good to me. Well, I'll have to go see this thing, (or bit torrent a shitty cam copy) and let you know truly what this films does or doesn't posses. Peace big homie.
Munki out.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Warren Sapp Continues To Prove He's A Douche (XXL In his case)

Warren Sapp. Bro, you grab a misdemeanor domestic battery charge on super bowl weekend? WTF mate?

I live in Fl, so from time to time when he was the go to guy for D-lineman on the Bucs--who I don't rep cuz the Giants run through my veins--I'd hear about him. Like, how he'd yell at a barista, or at the waiter or waitress, or that time on Punk'd when he totally didn't play that shit. Which was funny to watch.

And now, the day before the super bowl, @ 5 in the morning no less, he attacks his girlfriend? When he's supposed to be calling the biggest game in sports next to the world cup and the world series?! Bro?! How mad were you? Pretty damn apparently to get deranged at 5 in the a.m. pretending your girl is on the opposite team and you're wearing your football pads again.

Well, actually let's give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he said she could say there in the first place (There being the Shore Club Hotel). But then, he found out she's been talking to some other cats in the alley. The girlfriend of two years, eventually told her tale to the Miami Beach Police Department while the sun rose. Sapp, supposedly yanked her out of the bed, choked her GTA III pimp style and tossed her right out of the room into the hallway. He told the cops that he was trying to help her and she fell over.

...Really dude? She simply fell over and got back up with a swollen right knee and bruises on the back of her neck?

The NFL has quickly applied the damage control to the situation and removed him from the super bowl coverage team. The NFL Network released a statement saying they were aware of the incident and that Sapp will not appear on the NFL Network until they review the matter. No word yet from Showtime, who provided hm with a clean out from playing the game, and gave him a spot on "Inside The NFL." We'll see where this leads him in the next few days, and how good of a recoil he can make.

Hey, at least it wasn't three hundred disgruntled chicks coming forward, crying to the cameras about how they thought that she was his one and only.

Two things that are awesome




Audiosurf is a ten dollar software that let's you ride a Tetris-meets-Guitar Hero style video game. Your in this tiny little rocket ship in space and with a whole array of songs to choose from, you ride the beat of the song. Whose got illegal substances? Or at least some strong coffee and good cream will do just fine with me.

I haven't bought it yet, so I'm not sure if you can upload your own or what. I'll get back to you on that. Unless you beat me to it, then be sure to let a boy know.

Click the 720p if your graphics card can support it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOE9ZbIokto&feature=related

Why there's 10 of 'em now (Probably)


There's ten of these things in one category now?
Damn son.

HMMM.... I WONDER WHY? I SAY ALOUD IN FRONT OF TOM SHERAK (President of the AMPAS) AND THE REST WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. Is it because Wall-E and The Dark Knight got a bukkake of shit worse than the worst German porn? I believe it is. Usually when films get snubbed out for best pic, the Academy doesn't get the kind of backlash it got that January. They practically got out there rain coats and umbrellas and tried looking for George Clooney in wake of how big that shit storm was boy-o.

Why have they all of a sudden, after sixty five years of doing it five's company, are they now going with the ten's a crowd decision? Probably because last years awards was the ALL TIME low for the ceremony and they need to do something before the Nielsen people step in and slap them up. But it does beg the first question: Are there really ten films out there even worthy of it? No. Maybe there are ten, sometimes there's more (but those don't get the marketing and promotion they deserve 'cuz studios can be XL bags of douche). I'll agree with ten real good ones, but after the nitpicking's done with, you just get back down to five, seven maybe.

I mean, doesn't it kind of sound like, "We're going with the top five best candidates for this position. Uh... Well... that is unless a whole bunch of people around the country get super pissed about two other dudes and/or chicks who should have also been in the running. And then we'll just open it up to hell, why not five more people who now will get blown up ego's and undeserving recognition while others get smudged out for the press of the whole debacle! Yeah!"

We'll have to wait and see how this turns out. I've seen four out of ten, and have the other six in pipe ready for me to watch and review the shit out of. So stayed tuned for more. Then I'll get back on the track of which of the ten does and does not deserve arguably the most coveted spot in film for the past eighty three years.

This guy's got the idea. I follow his stuff every now and then, he knows what's up. http://boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2666&p=.htm

A Review: How Lovely Are Peter Jackson's Latest bones?














Please be forewarned: To say that this film was made badly, or that Peter Jackson did a bad job or entirely is a poor/nearsighted director would be a most foolhardy mistake to make.

I'm gonna make this short and sweet (I'm already lying). Because as much as a person would think Peter Jackson simply shooting another film would be enough to rant on about until one or more cows do in fact come home, well, get out the dinner bell and get the damn cows back, I'm already done with this shit. I first heard about this project a little over a year ago and was excited with the quick synopsis of the book that would be screen film. And in the hands of Jackson, I was sure he'd pull something great out of it, but than double thought about what he did to ma fav great big munky man and though, "Fuck, maybe not".
Her name is Salmon, like the fish, first name Susie, played by Saoirse Ronan. In the hands of anyone else this character would have simply killed the film dirtier than a road-side bomb. But low and behold we have a savior in he supple and gentle hands of Saoirse Ronan. The Irish lovely and Stan-the-man, and with some help from Sarandon (who couldn't get more comfortable with her role unless she was getting a massage while the camera rolled) are the three pillars holding the ceiling up, all the while as Jackson himself gets confused with which LOTR movie he's NOT filming anymore.

Which leads me to my next point. After numerous push-backs on the date to drop into theaters, the director decided he would capitalize on the extra time by "making some effects shots larger in scope". He certainty got that chore out of the way. You'll never no how fake a dead digital guy could look until you see him up close. And then you get disappointed in the film, because it was Jackson who did it to your eyes. I was expecting a lot more from a guy who could pull three consecutive Oscar's for best effects with such a potentially visually stunning experience as this book could offer a person. But there in lies the problem. Because sadly, the jump from page to frame was a shaky one no matter who was sitting in the captain's chair. There are so many times when the movie doesn't seem to have the usual flair and robust nature of a hot cup fresh brewed in the morning as his films usually carry. It's only when we see the other-worldly sights and sounds of Susie's heaven that we remember why PJ is such a treasure to the film making industry. So maybe we shouldn't be so hard on the guy? Naw, fuck it, let's cream him for sacrificing the dryer and raw emotionality of the film by blending them UN-seamlessly with the gaudy, overly visceral and uber-celestial "In-between" world she get's stuck in.
As a writer myself, I sometimes get the "Skeevies" about the content of my material not properly getting translated if it were to ever get shot. There's just some things in the world of a story that need to stay with a printed description and not a film transfer. Rather than a overly-fantastical narration from a 14 year old girl named after fish that can swim to Japan. From her first words, it completely tipped me off about the kind of film I was about to watch, and again, I went, "Fuck, maybe not."

My only real problem with the film, besides the fact that Brian Eno (who is a terrific musician and a nice very choice at times) chimes in and tells us how to feel about the scenes we're watching before we get the chance. Oh! And also besides the fact that a kid can fall in love with a girl, and feel so sad after having ONE incomplete conversation with her in a hallway at school. That scene would actually count as having been the first time they officially met each other mind you. But my main concern is, for whatever reason through out the movie (maybe it ws the Skeevies.... OOOOohhhhh), Tucci's George Harvey is apparently a very obvious man who would kill someone and makes everybody uncomfortable. Even though he's been doing for years, it only takes one little girl and some half goth chick to notice he's a sleazy. But the blindest cop in the world who speaks to him in his own living room, a man who get's paid to be suspicious, takes NO notice to how insane it is an unmarried man would build little girl's doll houses to a T so well he could charge whatever he wanted and pay off a Porsche with the proceeds!!!!!! AAAAhhhhh!! GOD!!!!

Mark Whalberg (who can do some very heavy lifting when he doesn't bother so much with the wide-eyed-heavy-breathing-overly-nice approach he genuinely slips into) does the job as much as the script would allow him to do as a grieving and determined father who won't abandon his little girl's memory. One would think, if Ryan Goslin wouldn't have dropped out, or they just would have given him some age make-up, would he have stole a few scenes himself along with Sarandon?

I wanted so much more out of Rachel Weisz (who I love to follow on screen from role to role) I was surprised she even did the film after having finished it. Maybe she was doing someone a favor, she is capable of so much more than her character gave. An absolute delight to watch prance the screen is Sarandon of course. On point as always and get's maybe the two best lines out of the film. Even Micheal Imperioli (who can really deliver and doesn't ever usually miss a beat) gives a new shine to himself, dusting off the North Jersey and buckling down on the Penn State small town. But the kicker of the film, cast against type pitch perfectly, Tucci gives the smooth talking, professionalism of his personality we all know so well a rest. This time he gets down to his own "lovely bones" and pulls something so truely natural, you probably have fifty of these guys in your own neighborhood (pay attention from now on). The unseemly guy-down-the-street with the coke-bottle, grandpa glasses and rotten comb-over hair cut is the performance from him that matches the best of what he can do. Along with his Joe-schmoe garbly voice the dude is a perfect dork. Which is also why you'd be able to connect the dots on why he would eventually snap, kill, and rape little girl, maybe feeling trapped from a divorce and a loser image? Or cutting too maybe roses? Building to many doll houses? Watching too many happy people being happy with things that don't belong to his heart anymore, or things he wished he had might be enough for that... extra nudge? If for some reason, with all my expertise, Christoph Waltz doesn't grab the Golden Man called Oscar, my pick is solidly for Stan-the-man Tucci's (beloved and skin-crawling) performance. You'll just never know the feeling, "Oh, hope that was your homework..." can invoke until Tucci's comb-over-guy-down-the-block passes it through his lips with a retained and slow spread smile.

If you look at the film as a fantastical adventure you'd be half impressed, but I again have to think, who else could have done a better job sewing a seamless seem into the very tricky jeans that encompasses only two things: Family Dramatics and Trauma, and Spiritual Fantasy? It begs the question how much worse the film would have done in the hands of a lesser director and downgraded cast. So at the end of the day, lovers of the book might not have been so happy with how it turned out, but that's been happening for 100 years now. Literally. We're about a little over marking 100 years of cinematic adventure here. So I'll renege on my previous statement and not "cream" him for taking a big chance with risky material and accomplishing the job I always hope for: It was on my mind (and welcomed) the next day.
In short, I'm not exactly surprised with how much better the film might have seemed if maybe they all just laid down with the CGI "In-Between World" and all it's completely indeterminable motivations, and swung the character focus bat a little more at the pitches from the book.
Point made, Focker out (collapses on stage floor from too much sodium penathol).